Single mom and dating
I sit down and across from me, empty space, on either side of me, joy -- bouncing legs, crumbs and buttery hands yearning to tell me about their days and I listen, but there is something missing: a partner.
Someone who's there to listen, contribute to the conversation, and asks the questions I forget to ask, who catches the conversation like the catcher in a game, and throws the ball back to me, As mothers, we feel forgotten a lot.
When you don't have anyone to answer to, come home to, or care for, your schedule belongs to you. A woman with children can't, nor could she even if she wanted to be. Daily life is planned out because children need consistency and boundaries, and she needs to maintain her sanity.
There is meal time, bed time, a routine, a school schedule, a homework schedule, dentist appointments, doctor appointments, dance class, time with mom and time with dad.
Residing under the feelings of fear and grief, relief and sadness is liberation. When we feel unsatisfied emotionally or mentally, we automatically lose our desire for sex. Those who have reclaimed themselves through separation or divorce live in a sexually liberated state.
To offer him a peek inside her life, to help him understand her better.They share the same feelings (as I did and do) of excitement, trepidation, anxiety, confusion and fear over their newborn single status.I've made up for all of the years of inexperience in the dating pool, earning a rap sheet full of mistakes and heartbreaks.When the kids are with their father, spontaneity can reign, but when she's on duty, honor her. Chances are, she's been lonely for a very long time.She hasn't had the opportunity to share her thoughts or feelings with a partner for years. Listen to her talk about her day -- what the kids did, the good parts, the bad parts.
From the outside, we may look the same as our single comrades (with no children,) but the insides of our lives, minds and hearts are vastly different.