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One recent evening, I celebrated my birthday in the outdoor courtyard of a bar.As the night wore on, and friends fell by the wayside, each departure occasioned a small ritual. But—and this is key—they probably won’t even notice that you’ve left. You’re going to tell me it’s rude to leave without saying goodbye. Goodbyes are, by their very nature, at least a mild bummer. By the time we get to them, we’re often tired, drunk, or both.I began to turn my attention to planning Dunc's funeral.There was a delay, caused by an initially inconclusive post mortem result and a bank holiday weekend, and it gave me time to make sure that the service was just right.A pal would sidle up to whichever conversational circle I was in; edge closer and closer, so as to make herself increasingly conspicuous; and finally smile, apologetically, when the conversation halted so I could turn to her and say goodbye. This moral judgment is implicit in the culturally derogatory nicknames ghosting has been burdened with over the centuries. The short-timer just wants to go home to bed, while the night owl would prefer not to acknowledge the growing lateness of the hour.Ghosting—aka the Irish goodbye, the French exit, and any number of other vaguely ethnophobic terms—refers to leaving a social gathering without saying your farewells. The English have been calling it is a less common, but apparently real, variant. It’s the perfect occasion to express your genuine pleasure at a friend’s arrival. These sorts of goodbyes inevitably devolve into awkward small talk that lasts too long and then peters out.
She explained to me that he looked very peaceful, and I decided to go too. The image of Dunc in that hospital bed is one that I see sometimes when I am tired and unable to sleep, but the image of him resting peacefully, in his favourite casual clothes that I had chosen for him, is a much more positive final memory.Whichever version you choose, it is time to commence ghosting, America.Should you have questions about all this, I’m happy to answer them.He was too busy enjoying life to contemplate its end.I was very relieved to find instructions for cremation recorded in Dunc's Will.
He kissed each of us in turn and told us that he loved us.