English american dating
There really is not a rule when it comes to paying for dates in the U.
S.: many girls will say that they expect the boy to pay on the first date, while others will argue that the person who initiated the date should be the one to pay.
I am not the only American woman that has the problem, as several of my fellow countrywomen complain of the same thing with the lovely men of these shores. I am not aggressive or pushy or shy or any of the stereotypical things that would turn a man off.
Back home a date that stretched on - by the man's own suggestion, not mine - from drinks, to dinner, to after dinner coffee, with conversation throughout - and then possibly even a good-night kiss would mean he was interested in at least getting to know the woman better! It seems that I can engage in good conversation and emails, even telephone conversations prior to the dates ...
“Dinner and a movie” or the traditional “white tablecloth” fine dining experience are what might come to mind when you think of dates, but many Americans prefer the first date to be a fun activity.
British people like to pretend they are 'just friends' until the relationship becomes physical so even if they arrange to go out together alone, they don't call it a date -that would be too risky -you'd be telling someone you're interested in them before you know whether they like you back.
I completely disagree with the idea that suggesting a second date would seem 'too forward' I suspect it may often be the only way to get anywhere.
The absence of a 'spark' that you mentioned could be because they interpret your behaviour as cool or uptight (how's that for reversing stereotypes? Also, because 'dating' is not part of British culture, a lot of men view dates as a one-off interview and if by the end of it they don't think they will fall in love you, or sleep with you they don't see any point in asking you out again.
But the trend seems to be that I will let a few days go by, then drop a text or email thanking him for the date - I won't suggest another date myself, as I have been told that is too forward for British men - only to be told "I didn't feel that spark" or something similar. I'm not a supermodel, but I'm also fairly attractive.
I am 5'3" tall with long dark hair and a size 12 - just as pretty and about the same size as most women walking around London. That is the only thing that is starting to make sense, which is of course not helping with the confidence issues developing from all of these first-date only experiences.
It could also be that while you are excellent company when you are with your friends, when you are on a date you are nervous and behave quite differently.